April 2011
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Sometimes I think...
We both forgot to feel blessed. I keep forgetting how blessed I am for having you (emotionally) near, just a nudge away despite everything that I always ask for more of you. You keep forgetting how blessed you are for having me despite your constant annoying, agitating attitude that you’d never ask for more of me.
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щ(ºДºщ)
A: "Gue udah punya Skype dong."
B: "Terus?"
A: "Ya saya bisa video call sekarang hoho. Kemaren abis video call."
B: "Sama siapa?"
A: "Rahasia"
B: "...Yaudah"
A: "Oke."
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I'm on my way to the airport right now...
And I hate myself for imagining that it was you I’m about to pick up. I hate myself for thinking that you’ll let me pick you up someday — or that I’ll be worth enough to be the only girl you’d want to see by the time you arrived in your homeland. I hate myself for still keeping that tiny slice of hope…
Which one's better: Having time or having freedom?
Kamu bukan sekedar 'cuma',
…Dan kamu lebih dari ‘hanya’. :)
Random night chat with Ilona
Me: "*ngayal punya apartment sama Ilona* jendela bikin gede, depannya balkon kecil jadi bisa duduk-duduk di pinggir jendela sama pacar..."
Ilona: "Iye, jendela gede bisa juga buat jorokin pacar lo kalo lagi kurang ajar."
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I wish I could get bored of missing you. I really wish I could.
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Good morning!
I’m missing you again at the moment I woke up, as expected.
Moving on from you would feel like a girl’s 16 birthday — or a Jewish boy’s Barmitzvah. You know, that kind of unwillingness to move out from something so beautiful; so familiar to you — that has given you so many memories; laughs and tears — that kind of feeling when you left your childhood behind.
I hate how we're both stubborn to each other
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This is either silly or pathetic...
but I signed in on MSN first thing in the morning, hoping to catch you online. I’m not going to say a word and you probably wouldn’t either, but seeing your name online just… calms me. In the most, forceably modest way, it does.
And I hate to think that I have to let go that kind of easy calmness soon.
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You know that feeling when you just went through a terrible night and woke up and for a second you felt okay but right after that second something hits you right in the heart; something jolted and pull you away to the hurt you felt the previous night? Yeah.
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People say the more we love someone, the more we hurt them. I do agree — but you know what? If you love me that way, go find a better girl that would love to be loved that way.
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Things I want to say to 10 tonight
You know one of those times when you broke you Mom’s favorite vase and they can never back to normal no matter how much glue and time you spent on trying to mend the pieces back? Well, this is one of those times.
I feel like there’s nothing I could fix from us. Not anymore.
Not after spending countless minutes trying to glue myself together everytime you break me.
Not after trying...
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The Saddest Things Tonight
1. Had my heart broken, for the umpteenth time, by the same guy.
2. Had to accept the fact that no matter how much I care, he just doesn’t.
3. Had to lose one bestfriend because of this heart thingy.
4. Accept the fact that this is my cue to leave.
5. No matter how much I’m glued to him. No matter how much he was once acting like he cared.
6. Because in the end, I know he...
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I haven't got the chance to say this on...
…So thankyou. For the repetition of the mini concert you did for me (or maybe not) last year. For calmly called and say,”hey look, you’re called.” Right after I told you I was fed up working on my paper. For playing St. Elmo’s Fire. For being you. Thank you. :)
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Hi.
We haven’t talked out much lately. We’re drown in our own lives and had so little time for each other these past few days. Now I know I don’t have any slightest right to say this but… I hate it when you’re too busy to talk to me. Remember when you told me you don’t like busy people like me? I didn’t understand you back then, but now I think I did, a...
Dear 12 people who asked me in MSN tonight,
Fuck you all. HAHAHA.
Okay, err, not really.
DUDEEEESSSS why is it everytime I post a lovey-dovey-pukey sentence of a lyrics on my pm everyone would ask me stuffs? I mean, seriously.
Tonight I posted Bruno Mars’ Marry You, the last sentence of the first verse and everyone WENT WILD, asking me stuffs like,”YOU’RE GOING TO MARRY THAT GUY WHO’S BEEN YOUR CRUSH SINCE...
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Sometimes I feel like you're trying to tell me...
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The Way A Said It...
A: "Lo sama gue 180 derajat banget gak sih? Lo suka kegiatan sosial, gue anti-sosial. Ya nggak gitu juga sih."
B: "Terus kenapa?"
A: "Gak apa-apa. Baru sadar aja."
*awkward silence*
A: "Apa yang kita punya in common? Bentar mikir"
B: "Almost nothing ya kayaknya. Gue juga bingung kenapa kita bisa klop lama banget."
A: "Tsaaah klop, bahasanya. Hahaha."
B: "Ya terus apa dong~ Cocok? Cocok mah buat couples. Klop buat temen."
A: "Ya sama aja."
B: "Lo udah kelar belum mikirnya? Ada yang sama gak diantara kita? *duh bahasa gue kenapa jadi gini*"
A: "Ya inilah indahnya perbedaan."
The way A said those things. It somehow hurts B. Like those things matter much for A.
Like those things will set them apart.
Like those things will turn their world into something horrible.
For a second, B would like to throw them all outside just so A could see how much A means to B.
Just once.
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You know what?
After things we went through.
After all those silly fights, those random arguing…
I still think there’s no one suits you better than I do, and vice versa.
But now that you pointed out those things I’ve always tried to ignore,
I began to re-think everything.
We have almost nothing in common.
Why do I hold on in the 1st place anyway?
Silly me.
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I hope that someday you'd give me the chance to...
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Tonight's multiple choices
Sometimes it’s unfair how a simple,”lagi apa? Kok belum tidur?” could:
A) make my heart skipped a beat.
B) make me smiling foolishly
C) make me feels like a giddy teen all over again
D) make me fall for you even deeper than before.
E) all of the above
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My mind forgets to remind me you're a bad idea
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Good morning!
Feeling not so well today. A bit headache and keep missing the same person over and over again. *sigh* Have a nice day, everyone! XD
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Sometimes
Sometimes I think you’re a selfish, ignorantly arrogant jerk. A bit lower than a conceited one. Sometimes I feel like punching you hard in the face for keeping me awake until late at night, thinking about how annoying you were that day. Sometimes you’re so unbelieavably stone-headed you left me speechless. Other times? Well, other times I just miss you. That’s all.
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Despite everything, that day was a fairytale.
I still remember that night; where the three of us grab some dinner together, having some good laughs. I remember the first song played on my way home was Taylor Swift’s “Today Was A Fairytale”.
…I still remember how that song gave me the giddy feeling, making me smile foolishly remembering what just happened.
No, you didn’t take me by the hand.
No, you didn’t pick me up at six.
(We even...
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Sometimes I wonder...
Have you ever read my Tumblr? Because at times it feels like you do. And sometimes the way you know things is simply annoying, like you did that on purpose. Like you have a book full of secret on how to make me fall on knees for you (it’s not like you have to — I already am. Pshhh).
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One question I could never answer properly
A: "Kok bisa ya..."
B: "Apaan?"
A: "...Lo segitu cintanya sama dia?"
B: "..."
(Actually followed by "HA HA HA PAKE PELETNYA MELINDA DEE KALI" but that won't be pretty here, right? Right?)
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Eversince I was little, my Dad have always told me...
…Maybe that is why I will never going to get over you. You’re something that I started that have never been finished for me. So deal with it. Deal with me. :)
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You know what?
Screw everything. - “+?2 )+_ :) (Try type that in bb’s alt mode)
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Hello dear, you know what?
Talked to @fijuster, @cdiorisa and @keziagabriella last night. They said I gotta start being honest with you — and of course, I fought against their opinions. A stubbornly arrogant part of me thinks that I’m already being brutally honest with you. Remember when you asked me,”what am I to you?” Yeah. Remember that letter? Remember the 2nd confession I made when you made me...
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Maybe we're just two linear lines who'll always...
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you know that feeling when someone misinterpreted your words? Hurtful, isn’t it? It’s frustrating. …But do you know the feeling of misinterpreting the words someone just said to you? You don’t? Well, tell you what: it is waaay more hurtful and way more frustrating than having your words misinterpreted. Really. I should’ve known that you have the worst memory in the...
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Airport. You.
As I went to the airport today, seeing and feeling the emotions of people waiting for their loved ones… I picture myself waiting for you.
I picture myself rushing to the airport, right off from campus, maybe skipped the last 30 minutes of lecture just so I could caught you on time.
I picture myself arriving an hour early at the airport, nervously checking your text several times to make...
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I'm not yours and you're not mine,
…But why do I feel like we’re having each other? Like there’s kind of secret gesture that we’re actually limit ourselves to each other, Like there’s kind of unwritten rules about this. Or maybe this is just me being delusional. Maybe this is just me afraid of losing you. Maybe this is just me being too in love with you that I expect too much from you. My mistake,...
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As of right now, I miss you.
Though I don’t want to. Though it made me wake up this morning puffy eyed with a heavy headache. Though all I want to do is screaming horrible things right to your face, punch your stomach hard, and kicking your legs. Though all I want to do is looking at you right in the eyes, saying that you’re the best jerk I’ve ever known. Though I appeared offline to you in MSN tonight....
At some points of your life, there are times when all you miss is falling asleep peacefully, hugging your favorite teddy bear as tight as you can — and your world is suddenly okay.
Or the indescribable feeling seeing the bright blue sky with white clouds hanging lazily from your Dad’s shoulders.
Or eating Mommy’s home-made oatmeal on your sick mornings.
Or probably running...
